Toilet Pilates

by 3rdiii in Living > Life Hacks

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Toilet Pilates

ToiletPilatesthenumbertwobook.png

Alright folks! I must state I take no responsibility for any injury for performing the suggested stretches while on the john. This guide's only purpose is to suggest specialized movements that may increase your maximum outpoop during your sittings. I am not a doctor of any sort, just someone that for many years doing these stretches have experienced the benefits and would like to share them with everyone.

Just a few things before beginning. We all are full of crap. Literally. We have 10-15 lbs of waste in our bodies at any given moment. The waste that is in our intestines have chemicals in it from the foods we eat. Candy, Meats, Cakes, etc and when they sit there the membranes from the intestine start to absorb these toxins in other parts of our body and into the blood stream.

To reduce this from happening when we use the rest room we should take the time to release as much as we can. The least amount of waste reduces the toxins in our system. I think as a society we are so busy we get in and get out never fully cycling through our deposits. When we do this I feel this allows cancer causing toxins to remain in our system in the rectum and over time can cause problems.

Are you ready to reduce the amount of toxins in your body by increasing your release of waste each sitting?

You Will Need One of These

toilet bowl.jpg
toilet pilates squattypotty.jpg
clenseyourpalletstool.png

You will need a toilet bowl. Some may prefer soft music, incense, candles...whatever you need in addition to this apparatus grab it!

I am in no way an affiliate of this company, but Squatty Potty has a stool that when used optimizes each sitting and I have also included a picture from an Instructables DIY from ClenseYourPallet for those selfers. They look similar therefor I am assuming they will have very similar results. The Toilet Pilates can still be done using the stools, which again I assume will only provide an added benefit, but are not needed. Maybe I should refer to them as stoops instead of stools given the topic at hand about stool optimization.

The Strectches

ToiletPilatesthenumbertwobook.png
There are several different stretches, but I want to go over the main ones that helped me.

1. When sitting make sure your posture is straight to start out.

2. Place your left hand under the back part of your right knee for support and raise your arm over your head and stretch to the left. Much like the picture above. Hold this position for 25 seconds.

3. Get back into the start position in Step 1.

4. Repeat Step 2 but you will switch your support hand and knee and stretch direction. Hold for 25 seconds.

*You may begin to feel a rumble in your tummy at this point of perhaps have already pushed more out. These stretches cause contractions on the intestines and rectum. The gas pockets on the inside are bursting which helps the movements even more.

5. Repeat Step 3.

6. With both hands grabbing your knees, lean forward as far as you can go and hold the position for 25 seconds. (Don't topple over or there will be a mess!)

7. Repeat Step 3.

8. Turn your head to the left. Take your left hand and grab the back part of your left knee for support. Take your right hand reach for your left elbow. Hold for 25 seconds.

9. Repeat Step 8, but the reverse. Hold for 25 seconds.

There are other stretches that help in releasing the maximum amount of waste, but for now since I do not have my positions rendered for a visual display I will stop with the basic techniques. If you are constipated try these stretches before using laxatives. The less drugs you use the better it is for you.

If you sit and go immediately. Still go through the progressions and see if there may be more that can come out. You will be surprised. Remember to leave a comment to show your experience with Toilet Pilates.

Benefits

The benefits that I have experienced are listed below:

Not as bloated

Feel lighter

More energy (the body does more when it has less to manage)

Healthier skin

Not sick long if sick at all (Cold)

Better breath

Metabolism increased

These benefits are the ones that I actually have paid attention to. Everyone will have different effects so I will not say this technique is 100%. There are other special stretches that I use as well that could be beneficial. If you try it please leave a comment and share your experience. I am just trying to help in anyway I can. This is good for everybody as long as your physically able to do the stretches. Remember to relax and breath while doing the stretches.

Good luck!