The Yarn Beard

Tired of waiting forever to grow the beard of your dreams? Does your facial hair come in all patchy? Want to look like a Viking? Then this is the Instructable for you.

Bear in mind that this is not the sort of project that you start in the morning and have a foot long beard to wear out at brunch. But, with a little patience, you can be the envy of your follically challenged friends.

- Scissors

- Scotch tape

- Plastic mesh board ($2 at Walmart)

- Big ol' ball of red Yarn ($10 at Walmart). 

I chose all red yarn as I was originally building this beard as part of a Stoick the Vast costume. Unfortunately, I didn’t finish the rest of the costume in time for Halloween.

As I have never crocheted, sewed or amigurumied before, I couldn’t figure out a better way to do this part. I’m sure there are lots of crafters out there shaking their heads, but sometimes you have to make do with what you’ve got. I rolled the end of my yarn in a piece of scotch tape to create a needle. Works fine for threading through the mesh holes and you can keep “sharpening” the tip by cutting it at an angle with the scissors.

I placed the strip that went over my head on the strip that wrapped around it and weaved the two together, leaving one side open so I could attach my second strip and complete the headband. I kept the strip that went over my head between my ears to centre the head band and so that the chin strap would be in the right place for the sideburns. I pulled the yarn tight here, as this piece would hold all the weight of the beard.

Once I placed the cheek piece on the rest of the frame, I notice the mustache piece didn't lay flat over my upper lip and the bottom near the chin over lapped. I cut off the bottom and made some diagonal cuts to the cheek area so it would sit closer to my face. Measure twice, cut once ;)

Next, I overlapped the cheek part with the chin strap the same way I did with the headband. I connected the two pieces in a few areas to keep it in place as I was planning on removing the stitching later when I weaved in the full beard. The chin rectangle was sewed to the cheek leaving enough of a space  to show off my pearly whites.

The first part of the beard consists of hiding the plastic mesh. I cut a long (3') piece of yarn and fixed a tape needle to one end. Starting at the top inside of the sideburns, I wove around the border of the mesh. After reaching the cheek piece, I started back up. To cover as much white plastic mesh as possible, I wove in a diagonal pattern on the front and across on the back.

I cut my side burns to about 3" long and the main beard to 18". This gave me a very manly 10" beard. I left a loop of yarn to thread a small piece through. Double it up, pull tight and continue looping and threading all the way up. To save time and materials, I wove a diagonal pattern back down and only looped every second run.    

Wash, rinse and repeat, repeat, repeat. Once the side burns were done I continued with the same pattern for the main part of beard. It did take a while, but way faster than trying to grow a real one.

When I was finished, I tied the ends of the beard with more yarn and manicured my moustache so I could talk and drink. I make sure to wear a hat or a touque that covers the plastic mesh. At this point, I could braid it, wear it loose and shaggy or give it a nice trim.

Perfect for watching Irish Rugby matches or just scaring the dog.