The Witch Sandwich (for Picky and Unenthusiastic Eaters!)

INTRODUCTION

There are sandwiches and then there is The Witch Sandwich. She is designed to entice picky and unenthusiastic eaters to eat something—anything!

In what must have been a somewhat desperate attempt to get me to eat as a young girl, my mom would make me witch sandwiches regularly, and I loved them. They were mostly made out of cheese and lunch meats cut into specific shapes which, when assembled, formed a most enticing sand-witch. She had a pointy hat (complete with buckle), a pretty, cheesy dress, and even a broom.

If Mom wasn't in the immediate vicinity while I was eating my witch sandwich, I would report excitedly on my progress:

"I'm eating her left eye now!"

"I'm eating her broom!"

"I just ate her whole dress!!!!"

Mom also dyed my milk red, so that I could pretend that I was a vampire drinking blood. And sometimes she let me pretend I was a dog, so I could eat under the kitchen table.

In the next section, you can briefly meet my mom and learn more about her process and philosophy. Then you can apply her wisdom, along with some extra pointers and suggestions from me, to make your own witch sandwiches for yourself or someone else who might not be feeling too excited about eating at the moment.

My mom used what she had on hand—and what she thought I would eat. So, if you have a particular eater in mind, make a list of the foods he or she does willingly eat. Then think about the textures, sizes, and shapes of those foods and how they could be used in a witch sandwich.

Here are some foods/witch part categories to help inspire you, but this is by no means an exhaustive list.

FOODS & POTENTIAL WITCH PARTS

FACE MATERIAL—pita bread, sandwich bread, a large lettuce leaf, sliced avocado, cheese, thin-sliced lunch meat (pimento loaf for spotted skin!)

EYES—blueberries, grapes, olives, hard-boiled eggs (all sliced into flat sections or halved); O-shaped cereal; raisins; cashews; sliced almonds; peanuts

NOSES—cheese, bell peppers, banana, carrot sticks, sliced almonds, O-shaped cereal

HAIR—cheese or thin-sliced lunch meat (sliced into overlapping strips); broccoli sprouts; bean sprouts; spinach, kale, basil, fennel; shredded wheat; small pretzel sticks; celery pieces; peanut butter blobs (slightly smashed with lines drawn on)

MOUTHS—raspberries, strawberries, tomatoes, bell peppers (all sliced into flat sections or halved)

TEETH—peanuts, sliced almonds, sunflower seeds, raisins, pineapple chunks

WITCH DRESSES—cheeses (try a dark-colored cheese base with a second overlay of Swiss for polka dots!); thin-sliced lunch meat; sliced avocado; fruit leather

BROOMSTICKS—nothing beats the classic, large pretzel rod; celery sticks; carrot sticks; bread crust; long-sliced banana; fruit leather (tightly rolled into a stick shape)

BROOM STRAW—shredded wheat; cheese or thin-sliced lunch meat (sliced into overlapping strips); peanut butter blob (slightly smashed with lines drawn on)

BELT BUCKLES—sliced cheese, O-shaped cereal pieces, tiny cut-outs from fruit leather

BUTTONS—(cross-sectional slices of) blueberries, grapes, or olives; raisins; O-shaped cereal pieces; sunflower seeds

Got your list of foods to use? Excellent! To make my super-creepy witch sandwich, I used the following items. . .

RAW MATERIALS

• two kinds of cheese
• peanuts
• raisins
• mild green peppers
• cherry tomatoes
• green olives
• fresh basil
• kale
• a few sprigs of fennel

MISC. TOOLS

• cutting board
• kitchen scissors, sharp paring knives, and/or small pizza cutter
• serving plate

You don't have to be an artist to be able to make a witch sandwich, but, for those of you who need a little extra help, I've drawn out some basic shapes to help guide your own witch part cutting. (Incidentally, kitchen scissors, sharp paring knives, and even small pizza cutters work really well on most witch parts.)

Also, you may not feel confident enough to tackle a full dress and broom right away. No biggie. A close-up of a witch face is still a lovely and appetizing thing.

ESSENTIAL WITCH PARTS

• face
• eyes
• nose
• mouth
• pointy witch hat
• hair

EXTRA FABULOUS SAND-WITCH FINERY

• teeth
• full dress with buttons
• little shoes
• broom stick with broom straw
• hands
• eyelids/eyelashes
• eyebrows

GOING WAY ABOVE AND BEYOND

• cat familiar
• cauldron
• background trees

It's important to note that no two witch sandwiches necessarily will look alike, and that's perfectly OK. The ingredients you use, the time you have available to spend, and your overall handiness with knives are all factors which affect sand-witches.

Case in point, pictured above is an oven clay replica of one of my mom's witch sandwiches. It looks nothing like the sand-witch I made for this Instructable. While hers were mostly made from cheese and meat, mine is more veggie-ified. No matter what ingredients make up your witch sandwich, here are some tips to help you assemble her.

WITCH ASSEMBLY TIPS

• The size and shape of your plate should afford you plenty of room to comfortably lay out your witch.
• Start with the face, dress, and other large items.
• Add smaller parts like her eyes, nose, and (optional) teeth next. Then place her lips, if she has separate lips.
• Add in her hair before placing the pointy part of her hat.
• After the hair and pointy part of the hat, cover the top of her face and bottom edge of her hat with hat brim.
• Add final touches like belts, belt buckles, hat buckles, dress buttons, etc. last.
• Present to your eater with a flourish, saying "I made you a sand-witch!"

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If you or someone you regularly feed is a picky or unenthusiastic eater, I hope you will make them a witch sandwich and share a photo with us here!

Also, this Instructable is my entry into the SANDWICH CHALLENGE. So, if you liked it, please vote for it! (And maybe even share it with a friend?...) Thank you!!