How To: Cut Up a Pineapple!

Pineapple: pokey. mysterious. delicious. And remarkably easy to dismantle once you know how.

I'm going to teach you the ways of picking the right pineapple and cutting it into bite size pieces. :)

How to Find the Right One.

Step one: Smell.
A pineapple should smell like a pineapple.

Step two: Pull.
The very inner leaves on top should come out easily if you've chosen a ripe one. Grab one and pull. Comes out easy? You're good to go! Doesn't come out at all? Probably not your best bet.

Step three: Firmness.
Make sure the pineapple is firm, not squishy. Squishy means it's overripe or has been manhandled by tons of people that don't know how to figure out if it's ripe and now it's bruised. Not good. :(

What You Need for the Ordeal:

a large knife
a large cutting board
a bowl to deposit cut pineapple in
5 minutes of your time

Cut Off the Top and Bottom.

Not too hard, right? Chop chop!

Put the Pineapple on One End.

Work your knife slowly down the pineapple, cutting off the skin in strips, going all the way around.

Don't go too far in! You don't want to cut off too much of the flesh!

Check for Eyes!

If you see any hard, dark bits on the outside of the pineapple, trim those off with your knife. They are not tasty!

Cut Your Pineapple in Half.

And then into quarters.

Stand the Quarters on Their Ends.

See that light colored bit? We want to trim that part off. It's pretty woody. :)

Trim all four off and move on!

Cut Your Quarters Into Eighths!

And then cut those into nice bite size pieces.

You have now conquered a pineapple super quick.

Enjoy!

Store the pineapple in the fridge.

And maybe compost the leftover bits? :D