How to Tinsel a Ute

Nothing says festive like copious amounts of tinsel. Normal places include trees, inside houses, and maybe on fences, nudge bars and roof racks. But why settle for normal when you can do something special. This started a few years ago, when I put a few bits of tinsel across the tonneau cover on my ute Dave and realized that I could do better. It has got rather dramatic and I’ve learned how to make it structurally better so it can be reusable, allow full access to the tray, and of course be safely and securely attached so as not be a road hazard. So now it’s time to share that information so others can drive around with glittery chaos making the world a brighter place.

A few points to note: I am Australian, Dave is also Australian and as such is a ute, not a pick-up. I will be using Australian terms, spelling, and metric measurements because that is what I use. If you want measurements in yards, cubits, or furlongs you will need to do your own conversions, but they are all very approximate anyway. I am also working with Tasmanian road rules, so in other places you might have different regulations about what is or isn’t allowed. I don’t give specific measurements as I design it directly on my vehicle, and unless you happen to also be driving a VS Commodore ute with the same after-market replacement tonneau cover my measurements probably wouldn’t fit your ute anyway.

Construct this on the vehicle because the surface is not dead flat, and tinsel doesn’t stretch well. Utes usually have a cross bar that sits under the tonneau cover to create a peak so water can run off. If you build it on the vehicle it is guaranteed to fit. If you build it flat it might not.

Essential:

Lots of tinsel. There would easily be over 70 metres of tinsel on my current one.

Cable ties. I think I’ve used about 350 on this so far

Recommended:

enough rope to go around the edge of your tonneau cover, plus extra to tie off

Some sort of garden netting which doesn’t stretch

Optional extras:

Bells

Ornaments that will withstand highway speeds and weather.

Important things to note about tinsel:

Different colors will weather differently, and this may also vary with your location and weather. In Tasmania in December we are getting into summer and having strong sun with high UV levels. Blue tinsel will fade to silver within days. Purple will fade to pink. White turns yellowish over a few weeks. Red, green, and orange mostly seem to be colour fast and can last for years. Silver doesn’t change, and golds vary. Cheap tinsel will hold up quite well, and can be good for giving it a very full look with a smaller amount of good lush tinsel for a feature. If you’re planning a tartan sort of look get at least 10 metres of each tinsel you want to use. I don’t know how this would hold up in places that are in winter with snow and below freezing temperatures. You will need more than you think, and the measurements of your vehicle won’t match the sides of tinsel that are sold. In Australia the nicer tinsels Are usually sold in 2m lengths, though I have also seen 4m and 5m packs. The perimeter of my ute tinsel is about 6.2m.

Notes about optional extras:

Standard baubles don’t have the structural integrity to withstand highway speeds. There are two basic styles of hanging loops to attach them, and both will fail due to wind resistance. Jingle bells which have the hanging loop cut and moulded out of the body of the bell are ok, as would be any reasonably tough plastic ornaments that can be securely attached. Where I am it is not legal to use additional colored lights on vehicles when they are on public roads, so I do not include any. If your local road rules allow them then feel free, but be aware of any shaped light diffusers which may not be particularly well attached.

The first step is simple, if your tonneau attaches the same way mine does. I wrap the rope around the tonneau so it is caught under the attachment loops, and tie it together to form a loop which is snug but not too tight. This is the border of the tinsel cover, and makes it easy to remove to store and re-use next year.

If your tonneau doesn’t attach the same way mine does, you will need to find a different method of securing the base layer of your tinsel cover. Dave is the only ute I’ve had, so I’m not familiar with how other tonneau cover styles work.

If you are not planning on reusing your tinsel cover you can do this with tinsel and skip the rope, it just won’t be as solid.

Next, if you are using a net, lay the net over the tonneau and attach it to the rope using cable ties. It should fit neatly and not be too tight or loose. This is reinforcement for the tinsel, and also gives a guide for creating a design. Mine was a trellis netting with 150mm squares. It should be something that isn’t stretchy, because the tinsel going over it isn’t stretchy.

Next you want to think about how you want to lay your tinsel. I like a diagonally placed tartan type pattern. This seems to survive better than a straight one. If you are not using a net under your tinsel you will need to make sure there are regular crosses between tinsel so it can be secured to spread the load from the wind resistance. A single strip of tinsel going across the ute, only secured at the ends, will suffer more from wind and be more likely to snap than a strip that is connected in multiple places.

To do my tartan I pick a starting colour in one of the cheaper, thinner tinsels. First I attach it to one point on an edge. This year I picked that from the netting, previous years I have decided my points by where the attachment loops on the tonneau are. Take the tinsel at a 45 degree angle to another edge and secure it. Take it 45 degrees away from that point and attach at the next edge. Keep going until it you have an evenly spaced design to work off. It doesn’t have to just be one rectangle. Just make sure parallel lines are evenly spaced. To keep things evenly spaced you will have points where you need to either cut the tinsel or run it along the side to get to the right place.

Then add the next colour and follow alongside the first. So if my first run was red, then I might decide to run green on the left side when viewed from the back of the ute. Vary your spacing to find a design you are happy with. Other than being safe and following local laws, there are no rules.

To do a design other than a tartan, you can pretty much do anything you want as long as you can secure it. If you are not using a net your runs of tinsel need to go from one edge to another. If you are using a net you could do zig zags or other designs based on a grid because the net gives you attachment points all over the surface.

Once you have got your design done, I like to bound it in a nice thick tinsel around the edge to give it a finished look. Some years I have done a rope braid with two or three different tinsels to give it body, others I’ve done subtle swags.

Cable tie time. Secure every point where tinsel crosses more tinsel and/or the net with a cable tie. All of them. If you are adding additional decorations like bells and have been organized enough to have them ready you can attach them now. I was not that organised, and I also severely underestimated how many bells I needed.

Securing these point evens out the stress on the tinsel that comes from driving, which means your efforts will last longer without getting holes. It also makes it easier to reuse because things will stay where they should be even when folded up.

If you weren’t organised enough to have all the bells and ornaments you wanted ready when you cable tied the tinsel in the last step, then don’t worry. You can do that at any point you like, as long as you have cable ties.

Thread the cable tie under the tinsel and net (or a point there multiple strands of tinsel cross), and then through the loop on the bell.

Then just close the cable tie. Bells will jingle more if they are a little loose and have room to move.

They can also be attached to the rope around the edge.

I’ve dug through photos to find some previous examples of Dave’s seasonal finery. Turns out I’m bad at remembering to take photos, two out of three came from my Dad’s Facebook. You may notice Dave has changed colour. That is because I got sick of people hitting him while he was parked and driving off without leaving details, so I wrapped him in one of the brightest vinyls I could find. The figure on the tailgate, and the skull you can’t see on the bonnet, are thylacaleo carnifex, the marsupial lion. I wrapped Dave shortly after Holden officially went under, and figured an extinct Australian “lion” (actually a large arboreal ambush predator related to koalas and wombats) would be an appropriate tribute for an extinct Australian company who had a lion logo.

Densly woven and secured designs look better for longer. The purple one was several years ago, I think that has over 150 metres of tinsel, and it has not lost any fluff or had snapped strands. It does not have cable ties, it is just woven well and secured at the edges with curling ribbon. It had bells around the edge, which I removed to re-use, and removing those also removed the ties attaching the tinsel braid around the edge.

A slightly tattered but ok tinsel cover can be refreshed by adding some new tinsel. I have also just reused one with holes in when I was too busy to do a new one or do a good tough up, because it’s still enough to make people smile. I mentioned it in a sermon, talking about how some people get very stressed aiming for perfection with their holiday decorations and celebrations, but in reality people will notice that you decorated and not that there are gaps or imperfections. Then I stopped at a servo to get lunch on my trip up to my parents place, and a bloke got out of his ute, looked at the tinsel, and said “it’s got holes in it”. So some people will notice, but you don’t have to care about their opinions.

I recommend checking stores for clearance tinsel after Christmas and planning ahead. Getting large amounts of tinsel, especially the nicer types, will get expensive if you do it when it’s full price. The same applies to bells or other decorations you may want to add.

In conclusion, have fun with it and don’t stress about perfection. It’s a temporary decoration so you can experiment, modify it, and just get rid of it if you don’t like it.