How to Make Jungle Jam With a Monkey "Helper"

Required Materials:
*Papaya

*Lime

*Sugar

*Baby Monkey

*Grab a large bamboo stick and knock down some papaya from the nearby trees. Only knock down the yellow papaya as these will be soft and ready to use.

*If you don't have papaya trees accessible you can go to the store and buy some papaya.

*Gather all the papaya together so you know how many you have. With jam you can use as many or as little as is available. I used 9 for this batch, but I've used 6 before with just as much success in another batch. If you use less papaya you will just get less jam, or will want to cook it a little bit less so it retains more liquid and more volume.

*Cut the papaya in half.

*Scoop out the seeds.

*Scrape out the ripe fruit into a pot.

*Mash up all of the papaya with a masher. It is ok to leave some chunks of the fruit, this will just give the jam a bit more texture. Think how strawberry jam often has big pieces of strawberries in it.

*All of the fun noises and smells will likely attract a monkey into your kitchen.

*Make sure you keep the monkey out of the kitchen, because monkies aren't supposed to be in kitchens.

*Different tactics such as moving towards the monkey, and telling the monkey to get out of the kitchen may prove to be useful. Alternatively you can try to lure the monkey out of the kitchen by placing a papaya in a different area.

*Cut a lime in half.

*Remove any seeds.

*Squeeze all of the lime juice into the pot.

*Pour some sugar into the pot.

*There is no exact amount required, just a small amount to flavour it a bit and allow the fruit to crystallize. But it is entirely up to preference. I added about 1/2 cup of sugar into the pot with 9 papaya.

*The monkey has likely returned to the kitchen, using the same tactics try to remove the monkey from the kitchen for a second time. Perhaps making sure she goes a little farther than the entryway to the kitchen this time.

*Put the pot on the burner on low heat.

*Stir frequently to avoid burning.

*Let the mash simmer down and the liquid evaporate off.

*If you are worried that the fruit isn't cooking enough, you can put a lid on and let the fruit cook a bit before you allow it to simmer down.

*Once the mash starts to become less liquid it is crucial to stir frequently to avoid burning on the bottom.

*If it does burn and you want to avoid the burnt pieces getting in with the rest, you can move over the non-burnt jam to a new pot and try again. Just make sure to stir constantly this next time.

*Of course the monkey has returned since she still hasn't figured out what it is you are making, and why she can't have any.

*Proceed to remove the monkey another time from the kitchen.

*Grab a banana leaf from the back yard.

*Place the jar in the center of a rectangular piece of leaf.

*Fold one corner of the leaf up, and continue to fold corners up working in a clockwise manner.

*Tie in place with a string.

*Using a spoon, fill up the jar with jam. A second spoon can be used to scrape the jam from the first spoon if needed.

*Keep the jam in a safe place so the monkey won't be tempted to get into your sweet and tasty jungle jam.

*It is now ready to eat! No need to wait until cooled. You can spread it on crackers, toast, or even mix it with oatmeal to sweeten it up!

*Give the monkey some papaya of her own so she doesn't feel excluded.