How to Make Burnt Toast

Burnt toast does not take much skill but there is a right way and a wrong way. Common mistakes that people make include, but are not limited to: taking the toast out too early, leaving the toast in too long (resulting in a fire), and making the toast in a bathtub. You should not do this if you have highly flammable items in or around your toaster. Do not stick forks in the toaster. I hope you enjoy what I think is funny along the way. Let's get cooking.

You will need bread. The number of slices depends on how many burnt pieces of toast you wish to make. 1 slice of bread = 1 piece of burnt toast.

You will also need a toaster or some method of burning your bread.

You will also need somebody to eat the burnt toast. I gave my dogs, Bailey and Clint that task and I was not disappointed.

You can use any kind of bread and any part of the loaf. I used the end of a loaf of potato bread because my family would have disowned me if I had used a good part for this tutorial.

This is a very critical step. The toaster, or whatever method you are using needs to be started or plugged in, in order for the burning to take place. I almost forgot the most important part, which is to plug in the toaster. I included that little fact to show how we all make mistakes and also to remind you to plug in your toaster.

This step is very high up there on the "most important list." It requires coordination, concentration, and intelligence. You must put the bread in a slot of your choice. I like using the slot furthest to the right. I like to think it is because I am always right.

I don't actually know the correct name for this thing so you have to push down the thingy that turns the toaster on and makes the bread go down. This action alone starts the toasting. Along with this, feel free to turn the heat on your toaster all the way up.

After a few minutes, your bread will pop up. You can use your judgment to assess whether your bread is burnt or not. I made a crispy piece of toast in the first time around. If your toast is not burnt, repeat the previous step. If this is still not enough, you should repeat until necessary and consider buying a new toaster.

When your toast has reached the point where it is perfectly burnt and you are happy with it, you must find somebody to try your food. This is my personal favorite because I get to give food to my dogs and I feel like a god bestowing gifts to my people. Attached, you will be able to find action shots of my dogs, Bailey and Clint, eating my burnt toast.