How to Start Your Own Graffiti Research Lab

Starting your own fake laboratory is easy, but we'll try to make it seem hard in these six pompous steps.

Hackers and graffiti writers unite! The street and the Net are both filled with opportunities for small people to alter the course of large systems. Hackers pieced up the Internet by sharing ideas, and writers hacked a billion-dollar transportation system to move their art around town for free.

Stop asking permission from law-enforcement offices, city officials, arts organizations, and copyright owners (but feel free to take their $$$$). Causing mayhem in public space is like downloading music on the internet: if enough of us rush the guards, they won't be able to take us all out.

Work in public spaces and the public domain. You should be open with your process to the point of being skeezy. Hit walls and networks and minds for free. Your only reward will be a purpose and an army of collaborators who are legion and loyal. No patents, no copyright, no property... just fame.

Train to be a deviant: Tear down ads, lick expensive paintings, sniff packets, steal paint, curse in the source code, trespass, torrent, install Linux, make drippy markers, buy a laser, don construction gear and go around the city unscrewing things. Let advertisers drool over your work but never return their e-mails.

Build an audience and don't be picky. The Bored At Work Network is ready to be chronically distracted by your My Space page. So make it BLING. Your mission here is to lower office productivity, make open-source the 6th element of hip-hop, and convince suburban kids to stop buying junk and start making better smoke bombs.

Make shit. Like a tricycle with an audio system loud enough to set off car alarms. Test your prototype in the streets. Keep the camera rolling, especially if the cops show up. Make a web page to post your documentation and research. Release early, often, and with rap music.