How To: Small Talk Edition

Hello, and welcome!

I shall be your conversation mentor ,if you will, for the context of this instructable.

Materials to include or have ready in order to apply these instructions.: Phone/ Device to text, call, email, or communicate with the planned encounter.

Grammar Checking Websites.

If you are reading this before an event, you should have a planned destination such as a café, restaurant, park, office room, online meeting website, etc.

If you are reading for future reference you may use:

- Notepad

-Pencils

-Computer note taking software.

As your conversation mentor it is important we begin the pre-small talk.

Before a planned meet-up, it is important to keep the person you are encountering updated on the day of your interaction if there are any changes in your schedule or estimated time of arrival. It is a significant first impression if you are prompt and organized, but do not inform them of your every move.

You can abide by this rhyming phrase: A simple three texts should suffice and are preferably concise.

It's always best to use a grammar checker if your device is not equipped with one for revising your messages.

It is important to note what your tone should be when speaking to the person you are meeting with.

This will allow the conversation to be appealing and fit the goal you want to reach. Whether it is meeting a supervisor /professional relationship or a potential friend/ casual relationship, you should look at the checklist to see which setting fits yours best.
Is it someone you are close with introducing you to one of their friends? Is this an acquaintance with whom you wish to be better friends? Is this someone you know that you see out in public? Is it a leisure environment? This fits a casual setting.

- Apply the casual setting conversation tactics, it will make you look more approachable.

Is this a colleague, a project member you recently met, a teacher, a client of some sort, a friend’s parent, the leader of a club, an interviewer? Is this in school, work, or any other business environment? Do you wish to only see them within a professional setting?

- Apply the tactics for a formal setting, it will impress your colleague, mentor, teacher, supervisor, etc.

If you feel that your relationship with this person does not suit a specific category, trust your instinct. Resemble whatever tone you receive from them. If they greet you formally, reciprocate this, and the same goes for casual.

1. Eye Contact: It’s always best to keep eye contact. If you are bad at keeping eye contact you may look between their eyes, they will likely not notice the difference. This will ensure the person you are talking to understand you are interested in what they are saying.

2. Mirror their body language. If they are standing with their legs crossed, subtly do the same. If they are sitting with one leg bent, do the same. This will allow the other person to feel a sense of connection, openness, and will feel more comfortable around you.

3. Emotional emphasis. It's important to show the emotions that resemble the conversation best. If a person says something surprising, perhaps you can act shocked and may naturally raise your eyebrows. If a person says something sad, resemble that emotion in your facial features. People are likely to talk more when they feel you are emotionally and mentally engaged.

How to greet someone:

Formal: For formal, it's important to seem polite, interested in the persons well being and eager to speak to them. This lets them know that you are willing to hear them out and are mature.

Casual: For friendly, there is a free range with more personal touches. If you are more outgoing and charismatic, maybe you could use modern day slang and catch phrases that fit your personality. You can give humorous introductions and have more freedom to say virtually anything appropriate. You can be much more empathetic. If you are verbally shyer you can also wave at them, hug them, fist bump, etc.

How to continue the conversation.

For continuing the conversation you can rely on the improv phrase "Yes, and..." This is used to help people continue a dialogue and speech within a scene, and can be actioned into a person's conversations, and cut when necessary.

The more you ask about and emphasize the details, the more they will be interested in continuing the conversation. Some people are verbally shyer in which case you can begin by describing recent events, your interests, aspirations, and they will be more likely to open up.

Asking for too much detail can be interpreted as obnoxious and nosey. You may want to ask no more than three questions before switching the subject.

Goodbyes!

I truly appreciate that you have taken the time to read and follow through with this instructable. I hope that it made small talk clearer and a more approachable task. If we all learn to talk with one another, we can take the responsibility of sparing the awkward moments.

I'm just kidding, it is not goodbye just yet. I was making a goodbye example for you. Although what I said does apply, we have not finished yet.

Farewells can end with an appreciation statement no matter the setting. You can appreciate them for being on time, listening, being attentive, engaged, polite, civil, etc. Whatever you feel compliments their actions best. You may thank a friend for spending the afternoon with you, or you may thank a professional relationship for taking the time to hear you.

Alright, now is the real goodbye. I would hug you, but there is the whole computer issue and whatnot. So I shall leave you with one question, was this instructable casual or professional?

If you guessed casual you are correct. The influence of exclamation marks and the prank/ jokes indicate a casual relationship.