How to Eat Chef Boyardee

First step is to find the variety of Chef Boyardee (henceforth known as 'CB') that you want to eat. *NOTE* I do not recommend this kind.

Maybe you have a hand crank can opener, maybe you have a nifty magnetic automatic one, maybe you have to use your teeth, whatever it takes.

Not much to say here.

Flip it over quick so as not to spill.

This makes like a nice suction in the can, sucking air out or something. I don't know the physics behind it. I just know it works.

Pick the can straight up. The contents of the can should come spilling out and making a weird squishy noise. This is my second favorite part of the whole thing.

Sometimes your food doesn't want to be eaten, and it hides in the can thinking you're an idiot and can't tell it's still in there. Shake it loose.

Now the remaining contents of the can should come out.

Check the can again just in case there's still some sneaky bits still hiding out in there. It's time to eliminate them.

"Oh, you thought you could escape being eaten by clinging to the walls of the can? FALSE! You can do no such thing!" This is something you would say if you were a crazy person. Fortunately, I am not. Take a spoon and get the rest of the food out of the can. Eat it immediately. It doesn't deserve to join the bowl with the others.

Put the can to the side to be recycled. This is sometimes a good thing to do.

Microwave it if you want to. Personally, it doesn't make any difference to me.

Eat your food. Yum.

That stuff was nasty.

Please comment if you like anything about this. It could be the humor, the pretty pictures (eh), the degree of helpfulness, or anything. You can even tell me why you hate it. I don't care. Just comment. It's one of the steps. You have to now.