How Does One Show Respect in Italian Culture?

Hi! My name is Alvin Tang, and I am a junior at Emory University studying abroad in Milan, Italy.

This project is straightforward and provides a guide on how you can navigate Italian culture. I will teach you some common customs and courtesies, so you can become a courteous and well-versed traveler.

We'll start with how you should greet someone and cover topics ranging from dining etiquette to coffee traditions.

Respect is a cornerstone of Italian culture, and it is important to learn about specific customs that may be different from your own country!

So, let's begin!

No physical supplies needed for this project! However, I will attach a few external links if you wish to watch some quick videos as well!

General Greetings

Italians are renowned for being elegant and respectful when greeting strangers or even people they are familiar with. First introductions are accompanied by handshakes, while friends usually greet each other with kisses on both cheeks, starting with the left. As people become more acquainted, kisses on both cheeks becomes to go-to greet.

Group Greetings

When meeting a group, Italians greet each person individually, shaking hands and making eye contact with each person. When meeting a group of friends, cheek kisses are exchanged. Italians introduce themselves by saying Sono ___ (I am ___), while making eye contact and smiling. Although this is not solely in Italian culture, make you maintain strong eye contact with all group members, especially to elders! And always stand when greeting people. "Punctuality is not tight in social situations. In Italy, ‘on time’ can mean 20, 30 or even 45 minutes late" (Evason 1).

Formal Greetings

Hierarchy is an important aspect of Italian society. Italians address people they haven't met yet and their elders with the formal Lei (you). Formal greetings are usually started by a handshake for both genders. Additionally, Italians will call their elders Signore, Signora, or Signorina (Mr., Mrs., or Miss), with or without a surname, and this goes for both personal and business settings.

Italians are very forward with their perspectives and expect others to be so too, which is quite different from American culture. They value lively conversation and are often uncomfortable with awkward silences or pauses. From my experience, conflict or disagreement is just another means of communication and should be embraced rather than avoided.

Italy has an incredibly rich cultural history, so topics of conversation related to Italian art, architecture, music are quite common around coffee bars and aperitivo spots. However, from personal experience, if you do decide to talk about soccer, be VERY certain about what team the person you are talking to supports. Soccer is more than a sport in Italy, so be respectful when talking about it!

Additionally, politics and religious topics like the Vatican’s affairs are typically avoided in conversations, especially if two people are not close with each other. It can be seen as disrespectful to bring up such topics as they are seen as very personal.

Italians typically wait for their host to sit before they do so and wait for him or her to indicate it is time to eat.

As restaurants, meals are seen as special events, conversations can last for a long time, so don't eat too quickly. Additionally, bread is typically provided, but do not each a bunch before appetizers arrive, and it's respectful to take a piece or two and save the rest of the table or later in the meal. While eating, it's seen as improper to put your elbows and the table, and make sure to rest your wrists on the edge of the table between bites. Lastly, do not leave to dining table until everyone is done eating (of course using the restroom/emergencies are exceptions).

When you are ready to pay, fold your napkin neatly and leave to table orderly. Usually, waiters will not bring you your bill as this is seen as a sign of being rushed out, which is disrespectful. When you and your party are done, go up to the front counter and ask to pay.

Coffee is one of the most essential parts of Italian culture, and if you visit Italy, you will undoubtedly find yourself in a coffee bar or cafe. So, it's important to know the customs to be respectful in such settings.

Starting Small Talk

Typically, you should not begin your conversation with the barista by asking "how are you?" In Italian culture, this question is seen as very personal and is only asked between friends and families. However, other topics such as pastry or travel recommendations and non-political current events are fair game. Just be mindful of how you approach the locals as sometimes personal questions can come off as rude and intrusive!

How to Drink Your Coffee

Most traditional coffee shops in Italy don't provide to-go containers. It's proper etiquette to drink your coffee standing up next to the bar or find a table to finish their drink at before leaving.

Coffee Spoons

Coffee spoons are not meant to be liked after mixing your drink. Once you are done, simply put it on the saucer, and enjoy your drink. Licking the spoon may not necessarily be such a big deal in the states, but it's seen as improper in Italy!