High Concept Splatter Art [FAIL]

This instructable documents how I made this splatter-art canvas with a barcode design, in just a couple of hours.

[Also known as: "How to stay humble and keep an over-inflated artistic ego in check in 5 easy steps." Read to the end to find out why!]

STEP 1: Conceptualise an artistic tour de force in the style of Jackson Pollock X Walmart. Expressive splashes of colour constrained against rigid verticals evoking a ubiquitous icon of everyday consumer experience. Hear the glowing reviews in your head already. It will be your greatest work.

[A.k.a. It's just gonna be a kiddy splatter painting with random barcode lines, y'all. A 3-year old could do it!!]

STEP 2: Make sure your mise en place is prepared to avoid breaking your focus once you are 'in the zone.'

[A.k.a. prep your canvas, paints and tools.

I masked out a random barcode pattern with random strips of sticky tape on a pre-made canvas, then sealed down the tape with a layer of white acrylic paint.

Once dry, I painted over the barcode pattern with black acrylic paint. A hair dryer helps speed the drying process out between layers.]

STEP 3: Imbibe your chosen stimulants and project your entire essence onto the canvas in an artistic frenzy.

[A.k.a. Drink coffee and go to town splattering the canvas with acrylic paints until you're happy with the result. I used two paint brushes and splattered them against each other to create directional splatters.

Also my overall colour palette and composition was vaguely inspired by Van Gogh's Starry Night. Blues, with speckles of white and yellow in the 'sky']

STEP 4: Spend all night in intellectual anguish pondering the meaning of life, and awaiting the final unveiling of your genius masterpiece upon the world.

[A.k.a. wait one day for the acrylic paints to dry, as it can be splattered quite thick. Peel off the masking tapes carefully, with the help of a pen knife to prevent pulling off any blobs of paint.

I really like how this turned out, with the overall barcode pattern visible from afar, and the finer splatter textures peeking through when you take a closer look]

STEP 5: Seek validation from your adoring fans but fall into existential quagmire instead.

[A.k.a. I scanned the random barcode for fun, to see what it would read. And lo and behold the result read... $5.

Ouch.]