Corpse Masher

Hello in this Instructable I will show you how to make a weapon capable of reducing anything stupid enough to attack you into a bloody mess

First you will need

A Club - could be any stick of wood, but it must be durable.

Wire - any type will work.

Nails - must be big enough to go through your entire club.

Stapler/ Nails/ etc - any thing really, but must be able to pierce the club about a cm.

(optional: Super Glue - used to stop jingling

You will only need to use a hammer, drill, and assorted pliers on this Instructable

The Club is absolutely essential for ultimate smashage

The club I chose was top-heavy so I can swing a good arc and clobber anything stupid enough to stand in it's wake. It also has a very unique shape.

For the club you will need a minimum of four nails.

First drill two holes on the top of your zone of impact, then drill two holes on the bottom.

( Plan this well these holes will contain your chains)

Then insert a nail into a hole and bend it until it is either stuck into the wood or it creates a circle.

(must be a closed loop because the chains then could slip off)

Repeat with other three holes.

Now you may be asking why not to just use barbed wire but while barbed wire is sturdier a barbed chain has much much much more barbs which means more mashing.

Now I already had one of the chains made, Then I just chose a color that would make it look cool.

First get rings (wind wire around cylinder, then pull wire off and cut vertically through wire to make links).

Then connect two rings. then take (preferably needlenose) pliers and squeeze wire in the middle (make sure opening is on top).

then do the same to the next ring, but before you add anymore slide the barb of the first one into the hole of the second ( if you made hole too small or barbs are too large squeeze barbs together)

Repeat

for a while

(until you have enough chain)

Now we can combine the club and chain.

First attach chain to nail loops.

then wind the chain around club securing it with nails/staples along the way.

Then connect it to the bottom nail and remove excess chain.

(It is highly recommended that you go back and add nails/staples)

You can add superglue at this point ( it will keep the chain from jingling and attach it to the club)

Now you basically finished, But it doesn't feel right does it. It needs MORE!

Add screws,nails,tacks, put as much sharp, pointy, blunt mashers as you can on your club.

if you have excess chain add a screw to the top and wrap the excess around it.

if you have tack that go in all the way, like I have in the picture. Put a washer on before you put it in to maximize damage (I still need to do that)

That is all.

I hoped you enjoyed my Instructable as much as you will enjoy wielding a stick of doom. Because lets face it if you're reading this you're either really bored or you really enjoy this.