Bland Box to Benedict

Ever since our days as body-builders, back in the 90s, we have cycled on and off with different carb-dictated diets. When bulking up, we would carb load (we are old now, no more carb loading), we would shred with total carb depletion (zero-carb to the point of ketosis), and general low-carb for maintenance. As we get older, we do resent the pain of zero-carb, but the low-carb is the foundation of Atkins and many other diets, so we typically just live that, but without the "brand name" on it.

Low-carb diets let us go somewhat higher fat without gaining a lot of weight, but this article isn't about diets, it's about making a boxed low-carb food into delightful low-carb breakfast.

That boxed food is JimmyDeans Egg'wich. I would like to describe what they use to replace the english muffin in these sandwiches... but I can't. They list a lot of ingredients on the label, like bacon and eggs and other things, that don't show up between the buns, so I have to assume they are in the bread-like things that hold the sandwich together.

The mission, if you chose to accept it, is to turn this box of... breakfast-like product into a delicious Eggs Benedict, you'll need a few things.

ed. Note: These actually aren't too bad by themselves, but they are pretty non-descript. No insult to Jimmy Dean meant in this article, just fun.

This is my list:

Sandwich/Benedict layers:

• 1 Jimmy Dean Egg'wich (includes two bread-like outer coverings, one meat-like sausage patty, and one slice of cheese-like... white... stuff)
• 1 Slice of (real) ham
• 1 Slice of your favorite breakfast cheese (I used American)
• 2 eggs for poaching

For the Hollandaise Sauce:

• 3 egg yolks (keep the whites for some extra protein in tomorrow mornings scramble)
• 1/4 to 1/2 cup of butter for the sauce, plus some to brown the pieces (I only used 1/4 cup for the sauce, but heated a 1/2 in case you need some extra hot butter to finish emulsifying the Hollandaise)
• 1 Tbs Lemon Juice
• 1 tsp horseradish mustard (or dijon, or honey, depending on preference)
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 pinch of cayenne pepper (to taste) Then you just need a non-stick pan and a blender, like my Oster monster.

Equipment:

Spatula, a couple of fry pans, measuring devices, and a good blender or blender capable food-processor.

Detach one of the four packages of Egg'wich. Then, cut the bag along one side. The contents should be frozen, and the four layers should easily separate... two bread-like things, one slice of... cheese, and one piece of sausage.

Instead of microwaving, per the box instructions, I like to add some depth to the flavors of the components. In my non-stick pan, I put a dollop of butter, and give them a light fry. After turning once, I lay the packaged cheese on one side of the bread-like substance, and the American slice on the other. Let them melt on while the bread-like substance becomes golden brown on the reverse side.

Optionally, sear the ham slice.

When done, remove from the heat, place the sausage on one of the now fabulous looking bread-like substance stacks, and the ham on the other.

For a great benedict, you need to use poached eggs. Fried runny eggs are OK, but just not the same under the creamy Hollandaise sauce.

I use a small fry-pan to poach, one of those little non-stick one-egg pans. Add water and salt.

Bring water to slight boil.

Gently drop egg in.

The egg white will have two parts, the smooth area around the yolk, and the feathery stuff around that.

I like to gently remove the feathery stuff with a spatula.

Use the spatula to gently splash the boiling water over the yolk to cook the top.

Slide into a strainer, place on the meat of one of the bread-like substance stacks. Do the same for the other egg.

Sure, you could have done both eggs at the same time in a bigger pan.

Ok, I admit, I had never made a Hollandaise sauce before (if you don't count adding some mustard to mayo and telling everyone it's my special Hollandaise sause). So I looked around the internet and found a few recipes. The ones I liked involved heating the butter and drizzling it into the yolk mixture in a blender. The others involved a lot of whisking and "careful heating," and sounded like too much work.

Start by using a small sauce pan or metal measuring cup to melt the butter. You don't want to just melt it, you want it very hot, as if you are clarifying it. Bubbling. Be careful, it is HOT OIL.

So, put the yolks, salt, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and preferred mustard into the bottom of the blender.

Mix on high for about 5-10 seconds. They need to be VERY well blended.

Then, through the little hole in the top of the blender or food processor, SLOWLY pour in the HOT butter while blending on HIGH. This will create an emulsion. Basically, two liquids that don't normally mix end up kind of supporting each other in solution. Not an expert. Go look it up.

Once 1/4 cup of the butter is added, stop blending and check the sauce. It should be smooth, with air bubbles in it, but no chunks. If not smooth, blend again, adding a bit more HOT butter or HOT water.

Mine worked perfectly on the first try, so I'm afraid I don't have a lot of experience in how to fix it if it doesn't work. But that also means it should work fine for you, I'm not particularly lucky, so the method must be good.

Now just spoon the Hollandaise onto the two stacks of pseudo-benedicts. I first put the Hollandaise into a small bowl so that I can add more later, if desired, without keeping the blender around.

I split this with the better-half.

The stack with the sausage from the boxed Egg'wich easily cuts with a fork.

The Hollandaise and yolk combine... it was every bit as good as a 14 dollar Eggs Benedict I recently had a nice breakfast restaurant...

Ummmm... Gooooood Morning!