BBQ-PDQ: OgreBurgers

This is a mighty good burger that is sure to keep those pesky little humans out of your swamp!

In a nutshell: this could be confused with a mini-meatloaf. What is so great about this burger is that you can put all kinds of goodies in it without worry about half of them falling out of your bun! You can enjoy it like 1lb burger but only feel the guilt of eating a 1/4 pounder!

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Suggested Ingredients:

Laura's Lean Ground Beef (for a very tasty and healthy burger)
Fresh Onion
Fresh garlic
Canned Jalapenos
Green olives
Tomatoes
Whole wheat bun

Suggested tools:
BBQ
Flipper
Sharp Knife
Mesquite or Hickory
Tin Can
Bucket
Water
skillet
garlic press
wax paper

You need to cut your Mesquite or Hickory or what ever wood you like to flavor you food with into some 1/4-1/2 inch cross sections (we will refer to these as "wood biscuits". I use Mesquite because it is like a weed in Texas so my parents brings me some logs when they or their neighbor clean out some brush. After you have cut up your log keep any sawdust or chips around to boost the flame whenever you need it.

Soak however many you think you will use in a large bucket of water, 5-6 should be good. This will allow them to steam/smoke more of their flavor into the BBQ without burning up so quickly.

Chop up your onions, olives, and mince your garlic. Put them into bowl on the side then cover the cutting board with wax paper. This will keep the raw meet off of the cutting board so that you don't have to wash it immediately if you need to cut more vegetables. The juices from the cut veggies should help keep the wax paper in place. Mush all the chopped goodies into your ground beef and form it into patties. I like to really mash it around for a while so that it becomes a quasi-homogeneous mixture.

Once you have your desired number of patties then use a sharp knife (or razor blade) to cut the wax paper around the patties, that way you can stake them for easy transport to the grill.

Some other things to try to mix in if you are feeling adventurous:
Mushrooms
pine nuts
Habaneros
pickle
tomato
...any other suggestions?

Get your grill going and place some dry wood biscuits on the flame once it is ready to cook on, you will also want to add some of the soaked wood biscuits both on the fire and on the grill near the burgers. You can also use a small tin can (like a tuna can) full of water, a wood biscuit or two and some of the sawdust or wood chips. Keep this on the grill near hottest part of the flame so that the water will steam and carry that smoky flavor throughout the BBQ. Most of the smoky flavor will come from the wood biscuits that are on the fire but the tin can is good in case you run out of biscuits or forget to add more as they burn up (some smoky flavor is better than none!)

DO NOT start cooking your food as soon as you see fire!!! (unless you use gas) I can not tell you how new BBQ-ers have have made this mistake...nor how many tons of food have been ruined by this mistake. Especially if you are using lighter fluid, be sure the flame dies down and that most of the coal are just a subtle orange glow. I find that many times after i cook my food it just then becomes perfect for cooking so don't worry about the flame going out. (Worst case scenario you just add a few more coals or wood.)

As you are waiting for the fire to get up to temperature saute some onions in a skillet to assemble into your hamburger.

Cook to your liking adding your favorite cheese (I prefer cheddar) after the burger has been flipped and about 2-3 min before it looks like it will be done...this will of course depend on the heat and size of your fire but basically you want the cheese to melt all over your burger but you want to be able to take it off the grill before it all melts and slips off into the fire...that would be a very sad cheese-ogre-burger =(.

Random tip: To prepare avocado i like to cut it in have longitudinally, then whack the pit with the sharp edge of my knife and twist it out of the avocado half. Then run the tip of the knife down the flesh of the half without piecing the skin to segment it, then just use a spoon to scoop it out.

Serve with your favorite toppings...don't forget those sauted onions!

This one is served with green leaf lettuce (far superior then ice-burg), tomato, avocado, sauted onions, light mayo and ketchup...and a little slide of heaven!

Now have a breath mint... You may have enjoyed your burger but some of the creatures that live in your swamp may not be blessed with the same fine pallet as you.

(Mouth drooling yet? Please vote for me in the BBQ PDQ contest, THANKS AGAIN!)

Maybe you saved room for some dessert?